i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
