Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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