See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
