he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.