I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook