Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you