I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.