Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
