just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
