in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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