He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
