My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
