my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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