somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
