we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
