Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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