Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
