This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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