shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
