let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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