Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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