Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
