Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So much rum. So many feels.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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