i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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