I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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