I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
