So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
