Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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