I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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