i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
