My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
