idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
