oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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