hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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