you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
