yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
