You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
