she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
