But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
