the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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