Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize