He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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