Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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