This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
