I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
