my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
