Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
