Whod you bang
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i think i have two assholes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
