The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
