No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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