what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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