look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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