Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
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i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize