so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
