in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
