I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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