butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
