Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
