the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
