East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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