STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
