she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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