And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
