Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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